Tangled: A completely pointless review
by Alchaeon
Summary: This is exactly what the title says.  But I had fun writing it. It's more questioning story points and being sarcastic than anything else.  But please read it anyway! :


A completely sarcastic and possibly irritating review of Tangled. Lots of questions and mistakes of sorts. This goes in tangent with the film, so if you have it watch and read at the same time. It will make sense.

Here there be spoilers... lots of them!

As movie starts... Squee, Disney! 50th Animation! So excited!

(That isn't sarcasm by the way, I love Disney!)

Opening scene is cool with the voice over of Flynn.

Now I always wondered why Gothel didn't just dig up the flower and plant it somewhere safer.

I agree with Flynn; t'is tres creepy with the singing.

Now Rapunzel is no way a new born with all that hair! Seriously! But the idea that the hair is useless when cut is a good one, gives a excellent reason why her hair can't be cut. Note the mobile hints of things to come; cherub, horse, sun, duck...

Why didn't Gothel change Rapunzel's birthday date? It would have made things a whole lot simpler.

Why doesn't Rapunzel tie her hair up and out of the way when doing her uber fast chores? It takes me an hour to do all that crap; there is no way it took her 15 minutes to wash and dry laundry!

I'm confused about the time line in this! Her and Flynn are following the same time line, right? The timings don't seem to match! That is a very long day.

I like Flynn, he's funny!

Wow Gothel is a bitch! But she's fun too! I'm finding all the characters so far very likeable!

I love this song. 'Mother Knows Best' :) Funny but still a classic baddie song! Watch your hair on those candles Rapunzel!

Note how Gothel is touching the hair as she says 'Love you most!'.

Silly moment with the posters. Maximus is awesome! He is so funny! I think he may be the scene stealer of this movie!

Where did Flynn get those arrows?

Frying Pan! Love this montage of Rapunzel trying to get Flynn in the closet.

Okay, Rapunzel, you read books, surely they have mentioned what a tiara looks like and what it is for.!

Flynn must be in agony after all that shiz he went through with Rapunzel trying to get him in the closet. Heehee, Pascal waking Fynn with his tongue.

Rapunzel's hair keeps changing length! its annoying!

'The Smoulder! :) You broke my smoulder! :('

Rapunzels distance from the tower is inconsistent with her movements. One second she's just next to it then suddenly, she's further away!

Heehee. Rapunzel at war with herself. She's funny too! 'Best day ever!'

How old is Flynn? Does anyone know?

That rabbit does not look like it belongs in this film!

Oh so that's where the stairs are! God Mother Gothel is strong! Moving all those rocks!

Knife!

Snuggly Duckling! Oh no! Oh no! I feel this may be a cringy song! Oh actually its not too bad! 'I gotta dream! I gotta dream!' Why is that old man dressed up like a cherub anyway? The ratties look like they have walked on from Ratatouille. Yep, Maximus is definitely a scene stealer! Why would you leave the puniest soldier to guard those two huge brutes! silly people! Note how the patrons of the bar do nothing!

Knife!

Rapunzel's ever changing hair length makes another appearance. Scene stolen by Maximus! 'This is the strangest thing I have ever done!'

Aw sweet moment between Flynn and Rapunzel. I have to say if I had a name like Eugene Fitzherbert, I'd change it too!

Love the completely freaked out Eugene! 'Why is he smiling at me!'

So Rapunzel's hair once cut doesn't grow? If that's the case that bit of hair should be waaay shorter! I get tingles every time the Mother knows best reprise starts! Epic! I've changed my mind, Gothel is evil!

Heehee! Maximus acting like a mutt! And stealing the scene! Eugene and Maximus are an epic double act! Does anyone else notice Rapunzel looks round and says something but there is no sound that goes with it? And finally the hair gets tied up! I thought all babies were born with blue eyes yet baby Rapunzel in the mosaic has green. And how do people not think 'Wow, she looks like the lost princess.' when she hasn't changed that much!

The awesome lantern scene now! I'm sit back and enjoy this. Its brilliant watched in 3D. Not that I have the 3D. :(

Aww the King crying! So sad! Why have the King and Queen not had any other kids?

That lyric annoys me 'Outside looking in' surely she's inside looking out?

Where were they hiding those! Seriously, where did the satchel come from? I haven't seen her carrying it?

Heehee embarrassed Pascal!

Now I'm assuming Gothel and Rapunzel used the stairs to get back up the tower. Oh look convenient memory surge! And it all clicks! Go Rapunzel, you tell that evil bitch what for! o.O Eep menacing Gothel advancing!

'What's the password!'

Those soldiers scream like girls!

He cut her hair in a nice style considering it was with a shard of mirror! I'm not going to go into how wrong it is though with the angle of the cut and the resulting style! Convenient tear of magic there.

How do the King and Queen know it's her? They just take it for granted that it is. S'pose she hasn't changed too much since she was a sprog!

No more sarcasm or gripes after this.

I like this movie! I'm gonna watch it again!

Let me know what you think of this random fic/review!

Sprog = baby (just incase)


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